I was in the little girl’s room yesterday at the office when a woman who works at the same building started to chat me up on my pregnancy.
She said, “Is this your first pregnancy? How far along are you?”
And I explained, no this is my third and I am in my 28th week.
She was shocked and say, “Oh I thought this is your first and that my friends and I saw you yesterday at the cafeteria and we were discussing on how you are risking your baby’s safety with those heels you are wearing. You shouldn’t you know. Stay with your flat shoes.. why are you even wearing those? You should know better…”
I was washing my hands then, hiding the reaction on my face and asked her, “Really? How many kids do you have?”
She said, “none” and I said, “OK” and I walked away, leaving her previous questions unanswered.
So, why am I even wearing heels when I am pregnant? (you may ask)
Humans are creatures of habits right? I have been wearing heels for the past 17 years and I am unlike other women who can wear flat shoes to work. I feel really uncomfortable and I can’t walk properly should I wear those heel-less pumps. I need my 'elevation'.
Of course, I know wearing heels can cause back pain, achy joints and even more for a pregnant woman whose body goes all weird with hormonal imbalance etc. But believe me, I am one of those women who are blessed with easy-peasy pregnancy, and I don't have any of those aside from the occasional leg cramps at night and 2 day morning sickness. Hence, I am undeserving for public scrutiny.
And the shoes I wear have mostly wide heels or wedges, nothing above 2 inches.
But the question here (for me at least who is going through this hormonal imbalance), do I deserve being judged as a lesser mother just because I wear heels to work?
I don’t run at work that I need to put on my running shoes or sneakers. The only walking I do is the usual – to café, toilets and the occasional location shoot. So why am I the subject of scrutiny by other women just because I am comfortable in the shoes I am in?
I know that at this stage, my pregnancy has altered my center of gravity but believe me, I know what I am doing. My heels are not those towering slim stilettos like Victoria Beckham’s - for which she paid the price of a slip disc due to wearing stilettos during her later stage of her fourth pregnancy. I will certainly not pose that kind of danger to any of my precious babies.
I am just taken aback by the fact that there are professional women out there who still lack the skills of communicating, especially to another humans of the same gender and that there are professional women out there who still think and play the role of gossip girls in the office.
You know, being a mother is the toughest job I have ever have to do and at the same time, the most enjoyable and fulfilling. And having to have a person who has not encountered motherhood to ‘preach’ to me on the best interest of my unborn child and relate it to my favourite things on earth which are shoes? - I find it to be offensive.
There are more than one ways to strike a conversation with a stranger, and criticising a pregnant woman’s choice in shoes is certainly not one of the better ways.
Kate Middleton, Kim Kardashian, Victoria Beckham (just to name a few) were scrutinised for wearing heels during their pregnancy and now I am on that list, I am totally empathic with them.
So, no, I am not going to chuck my heels away. I am just fine balancing work and home in my heels and if anybody has a problem with that... well, they should know better than to get in a row with a pregnant woman.
Happy Mother’s Day.
Linawati Adnan
Fri May 09 2014
This writer loves shoes
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